Thursday, November 6, 2008
♥ Inflict the pain back to him
So many times we waited for the time bomb to explode…. Running away from the problem we faced because facing it doesn’t solve it...Dreams and hopes were once my strength to carry on, I am sick of hoping and dreaming… I still love him at this moment…Every time I just pretend that everything is ok... but I got pissed... he doesn’t met any of my expectations anymore... why? I wasn’t that demanding in the past but now I demand so much from him? Why is this so? For the first year… I put my pride down and everything also just let him lead and win…but slowly he eats away my confidence and pride until I felt that I am worthless in this world.. I rebel … and I rebel so much that I hate him… why does he have to do such things to me? Did I ever say he is useless and no work, when everyone around me obviously think that he is useless? No I did not…. Did I ever say his hair ugly? No I did not…… but why he need to put me down so much? He said it is a form of encouragement … wth? Everything also he say is correct … he say pigs can fly also can ….. Encouragement can be given in so many ways but why he has to use the criticism .. This nostalgic feeling surged upwards, threatening to inflict the pain back to him ….He felt it.. definitely he is not happy with it… who will be? .. I am not happy when he did it to me…. Part of me, there is this tiny little light of hope, that prays he think likewise and changed. Then again,………A slap of reality..
I know he won’t………….. =)
I know he won’t………….. =)
6:29 PM
